What If Jesus Were Born in the Uganda of Today?

It will be Christmas in five days. If Jesus Christ hadn't been born nearly 2006 years ago but next Monday in Kampala instead, how would his story have been told in the Bible?

                                                              
                                                              JUST WATCH!!!!

First, instead of the Roman Emperor Augustus, it would be our own President, Gen Yoweri Kaguta Museveni, in charge (THAT'S RIGHT). The only remote similarity between the two men is that Augustus was Emperor and Museveni is, UNOFFICIALLY, president for life.

For purposes of clarity, a president for life is any leader who aspires to rule, or actually rules for longer than the legal age for voting, marriage, drinking, or joining the army. In Uganda, that would be 18 years, and in the USA, 21 (I THINK; RIGHT?)

Otherwise, I see no other similarities there.

About other things, I am a little surer what would happen if Jesus were to be born in Uganda today.

To start with, Joseph hubby would be worried about his job.

He was a carpenter, so he would be concerned about where his timber would come from in the near future, now that forests are being carved and dished out life confetti to sugar cane planters and palm tree growers.

When we still had the UPDF occupying parts of eastern DR Congo, that wouldn't have been a problem as a certain timber-trading minister (NAMES WITHHELD) kept Uganda's carpenters well supplied with the finest wood from the jungles of the giant central African nation.
But we officially left Congo some four years ago.

I suspect, therefore, that to improve his career prospects in the forestless Uganda of the future (forestless due to the afforesaid reasons), Joseph would be enrolled on the evening programme at Makerere University - studying Business Administration (IMAGINE!)

Jesus was born in a manger in Bethlehem, because the inn was full. I think it would be difficult to find a manger in Kampala for that today. I am reliably informed that all such places have been allocated to businessman Hassan Basajjabalaba (Kampala Tycoon dealing in Skins and Hides-now owns a lot of property), or given to "foreign investors" to build CHOGM hotels (That is Common Wealth Heads Of Government Meeting due to take place in November 2007 in Uganda).

In that event, then, Jesus would be born in Mulago Hospital. The good thing about this is that, according to every newspaper report one reads, Mulago is as good as a manger these days.

Remember there was a male angel who appeared and told terrified shepherds that Christ (the anointed King) had been born. In these gender sensitive times, there would have to be two angels - one male the other female.
The shepherds went to Bethlehem, visited the holy family, and spread the news that Christ was a very special baby.

First, in today's Uganda the shepherds would have needed a police permit to travel and assemble in Bethlehem, as it would be considered an unlawful opposition activity. And if the good Police chief, Gen Kale Kaihura (Uganda's Inspector General of Police-IGP), had something to do with it, he would have denied them the permit because the shepherds "threatened national security".

But even if somehow the shepherds made the visit, I am almost certain that the government would have obtained an injunction on Friday afternoon preventing them from spreading the news (as that has been done with some media papers on a couple of occasions in recent years here in Uganda).

Of course there is also the possibility that the President would go on national television to announce that the "birth of Jesus Christ in Uganda has been possible due to the conducive environment created by the NRM-the ruling party in Uganda)".

Herod, analysing correctly that Christ posed a future threat, ordered a massacre of all boys under the age of two in the Bethlehem region.
Joseph had been warned, so took his wife and child to the safety of exile in Egypt.

Today, Uganda doesn't deal with political opponents that way. There would be no massacre ordered. Instead, the president of the day would wait for Christ to declare his intention to run for the presidency, then he would be charged with rape or terrorism , and the Electoral Commission would disqualify him. But since Christ wasn't seeking political office, as such, perhaps the situation wouldn't get to that point.

However, I think whichever country Christ lived in, in exile with his parents would continuously face protests from Kampala for reason that that country was haboring terrorists or something of the sort.

Anyway, it was only after Herod died that Joseph was able to take his family back to Nazareth. There, he went back to being a carpenter and Christ worked alongside him.
No way that would happen today. Someone who posed the kind of threat that Christ did would return as part of a deal. Joseph would have got a mansion, a Mercedes Benz, security guards, and a generous allowance would be given to the family.

Christ would get the kind of treatment that Toro's King Oyo receives. In fact the young Christ would be "adopted" by a friend of the Ugandan leadership like Libya's Muammar Gaddafi (compare Gaddaffi himself and Uganda's president), just as he has the Toro royal family.

If Joseph refused the favours, he would be labelled a "rebel sympathiser". Some years ago, he would have been denounced as a "multi-partyist".

For the case of a visionary leader, no such a thing as mentioned above would happen. Only positionary leaders would do all the negativities.
- No deforrestation for money
- No favoritism
- No intimidation of opponents
- No self praise (but wait for people to praise him)

                                            Visionaries are accommodative.

                                 MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!